Me Then and Now

I apologize for the long post with no pictures. I just have been thinking about this little topic for awhile and once I started writing, there was just a lot I needed to say.

I have seen a lot of bloggers posting letters to their 16 year old self. I think that is a great idea, and maybe someday I will write one. I mean I have learned a bunch of stuff then, and yes there is a ton of stuff I wish I had known back then, but to be honest, I was pretty awesome.

I want to be clear, I am not one of those people who think about high school as the glory days. Yes, I had fun. Yes, I have good memories, but I really don't need to relive it. But I have been thinking about me now and me back then. I also was not in the "popular group." I did have a small group of close friends, but I was friendly with kids in all the cliques.

Back then, I was pretty confident. If something sounded fun, I went for it. Even if I had never done it before. Even if I knew nothing about it, I would still try it out. When I was in 8th grade, I decided I wanted to try out for cheerleading. None of my friends were trying out, I had never done anything like it, but I thought it would be fun so I went for it. And I made it. (Looking back, if I hadn't made a team, I am sure my confidence would have been shot, and I wouldn't have done much else.)

My freshman year of high school I tried out for a play and got the lead. I never had really acted or been on stage, but it sounded fun and since cheerleading was over, I thought what the heck. I also started volunteering for the hospital around that time as well. Throughout my four years of high school I also decided to join choir, take jewelry class, take the stats for the wrestling team, counsel at Outdoor School, and a bunch of other things that were outside my comfort zone. Actually, now that I think about it, not much was outside my comfort zone. I was pretty comfortable pretty much everywhere.

I think things all started to change in college. I don't really know what it was that made me become more of an introvert. I remember on move in day my freshman year. My roommate was a soccer player and was at an away game, so she wasn't going to be at school for another few days. After my mom left I was sitting there in my room, completely overwhelmed with everything. I knew there was a new student/freshman BBQ happening on the lawn for dinner. Without having another person (a roommate) I really didn't know if I was going to go. That was the first time I was nervous about doing anything by myself. (By the way, a girl on my floor whose roommate was also a soccer player invited me to go with her to the BBQ. Nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Seriously.)

Today I am definitely an introvert. As much as people don't believe me, I don't like being the center of attention or talking in front of big crowds. (However I do run several assemblies at school and talk in front of 900+ kids) I also get really nervous about trying new things by myself. Which I hate! I wish I had the confidence that I use to have. There are a few things I would like to try to do, but I make excuses. In reality, I am just scared of looking dumb in front of people and not having that friendly face with me. For example, I have been looking at an aerial fitness class (the kind with the ribbons and stuff) but I am just nervous scared about trying it out by myself.

I started thinking about all of this after taking a personality quiz thingy at a teacher training a few weeks ago. They said that our personality traits (like introvert vs. extrovert) don't really change throughout our lives. Um, lies! Mine did a complete 180, and there really isn't one thing pointing to why that is. I want to know, has your personality changed as you have gotten older? Any advice for how to come out of my shell??