Monday, May 20, 2013

Me Then and Now

I apologize for the long post with no pictures. I just have been thinking about this little topic for awhile and once I started writing, there was just a lot I needed to say.

I have seen a lot of bloggers posting letters to their 16 year old self. I think that is a great idea, and maybe someday I will write one. I mean I have learned a bunch of stuff then, and yes there is a ton of stuff I wish I had known back then, but to be honest, I was pretty awesome.

I want to be clear, I am not one of those people who think about high school as the glory days. Yes, I had fun. Yes, I have good memories, but I really don't need to relive it. But I have been thinking about me now and me back then. I also was not in the "popular group." I did have a small group of close friends, but I was friendly with kids in all the cliques.

Back then, I was pretty confident. If something sounded fun, I went for it. Even if I had never done it before. Even if I knew nothing about it, I would still try it out. When I was in 8th grade, I decided I wanted to try out for cheerleading. None of my friends were trying out, I had never done anything like it, but I thought it would be fun so I went for it. And I made it. (Looking back, if I hadn't made a team, I am sure my confidence would have been shot, and I wouldn't have done much else.)

My freshman year of high school I tried out for a play and got the lead. I never had really acted or been on stage, but it sounded fun and since cheerleading was over, I thought what the heck. I also started volunteering for the hospital around that time as well. Throughout my four years of high school I also decided to join choir, take jewelry class, take the stats for the wrestling team, counsel at Outdoor School, and a bunch of other things that were outside my comfort zone. Actually, now that I think about it, not much was outside my comfort zone. I was pretty comfortable pretty much everywhere.

I think things all started to change in college. I don't really know what it was that made me become more of an introvert. I remember on move in day my freshman year. My roommate was a soccer player and was at an away game, so she wasn't going to be at school for another few days. After my mom left I was sitting there in my room, completely overwhelmed with everything. I knew there was a new student/freshman BBQ happening on the lawn for dinner. Without having another person (a roommate) I really didn't know if I was going to go. That was the first time I was nervous about doing anything by myself. (By the way, a girl on my floor whose roommate was also a soccer player invited me to go with her to the BBQ. Nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Seriously.)

Today I am definitely an introvert. As much as people don't believe me, I don't like being the center of attention or talking in front of big crowds. (However I do run several assemblies at school and talk in front of 900+ kids) I also get really nervous about trying new things by myself. Which I hate! I wish I had the confidence that I use to have. There are a few things I would like to try to do, but I make excuses. In reality, I am just scared of looking dumb in front of people and not having that friendly face with me. For example, I have been looking at an aerial fitness class (the kind with the ribbons and stuff) but I am just nervous scared about trying it out by myself.

I started thinking about all of this after taking a personality quiz thingy at a teacher training a few weeks ago. They said that our personality traits (like introvert vs. extrovert) don't really change throughout our lives. Um, lies! Mine did a complete 180, and there really isn't one thing pointing to why that is. I want to know, has your personality changed as you have gotten older? Any advice for how to come out of my shell??


Jen said...

I feel the same way about HS as you do. I have no desire to every relive those years.

Kristin said...

We've classified my husband as a shy extrovert. Someone who loves being surrounded by people and friends all the time, but often is too shy to make the first move. I, on the other hand, am an introvert who's a wannabe extrovert. I WISH I was like him. But I'm not. He's gone fishing with a friend for the last 3 nights and I've been content just to putter around the house. It's like I'm 80.

And when I think about high school, I cringe.

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

I think I've always been basically the same, I just don't waste time on things/people I don't want to any more. I'm definitely more of a home body now than I was in my younger years.

Becky Dougherty said...

I can definitely say that my personality has changed! I wasn't popular in high school either, but also, like you, I feel that I was friendly with kids from all different groups. I was very self conscious about my looks, but out me on a stage, and I thrived.

I grew more confident in college about my appearance, and I was hardly ever content to just sit around in my room...I LOVED being around lots of people.

Now, I would say I've become more I introverted to an extent. If I'm going to be around lots of people, I prefer it to be on my terms. It takes me awhile into an event, but I do eventually warm up to the people around me. I just like being at home.