Things are not all happy and fun right now in my family. My mom is in the end stages of non-hodgkins lymphoma. My dad died of the same cancer when I was younger, and now as an adult, I get to see it happen all over again. We are thinking she has anywhere from 1-3 months left, but we are preparing for sooner. And it sucks. My mom named me executor of her estate. I think basically that means I am in charge once she passes. I am 30 years old, but when I am faced with all of this, I feel like a little kid. I don't really know what to do. When it comes down to it, I want to pout, take a nap and run away from everything. I know I need to be spending time with her, but I hate seeing her like this. And to be honest, I don't think she wants me to see her like this as well. When I asked if I could go over and see her last weekend, she said she didn't want any company or visitors. That hurt. But I respected it.
And now? I'm really not sure. I will call again. My friend asked me, when do I stop listening to my mom say she doesn't want people over, and I just go. I don't know. I know I need to see her, but it is so hard.
This blog is a supposed to be a fun place for me. And it is. Prayers for my mom to find peace are appreciated.